Now What? For Families Like Us – A Work In Progress

Many more than we can imagine that I can promise you….

aMississippiMom's avataramississippimom

Now (May 2014)

I closed my family court case out in January 2014 (by mutual agreement w/ex after HE lost custody last Fall by the very court professionals he hired who took them nearly three years ago from me, their mother, protective parent, and the loving, happy, happy, safe, criminal-free home I provided them).  I had no choice but to negotiate a mutual agreement with the ex because by that time, his “paid” professionals could no longer cover for him and his neglectful, negligent, abusive parenting, and I could not be considered as a fit alternative for custody once again because I owed guardian ad litem fees and face the very real possibility of jail for those unpaid fees.  All this after nearly 10 yrs of my ex-husband’s abuse-by-proxy using the court system to beat and wear me down.

Although I have now freed my family of the appointed psychologist…

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Daily update for my Boys 1 June 2014

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Hello Little Men!

Hope you both are doing well and that you have had a nice Sunday 🙂

I have been out with Ouma today for a outing , I think we both are going to sleep like babies , I hope , lol , as it was a long day….

Just finished all my packing etc. as I have to leave for the airport around 10 am in the morning , I have packed my stash of snacks also this time thus my bag is mainly full of food now, it looks like I am going to a country with no food at all , lol

So when I land I just have to pick up my red bull and cans of coke on the way to the hotel.

I also have your world traveling bears with me , I see they have their bags all packed and ready to go , still think they are the best traveled bears around today , lol 🙂

I am not sure if I will be able to write you tomorrow night until late maybe when I get to Dubai as I think I am on a 777 again and they don’t seem to have wifi like the A380’s , but what to do as they say ……

I hope you both will have a happy safe week , whatever you are doing …let’s hope you have lots of fun playtime also.

Can’t wait to see you both later then again under our big old green tree in dreamland …looking forward to see you both and get my traveling dream bear cuddles …

Night , night Champs …dream big of good things to come 🙂

Love you both around the world and back and miss you much more !

Love you Little Men ….always …

Dad xx

Message to the Yorkshire ‘Purple Phantom’ from Craven District Council

🙂

New Fathers 4 Justice's avatarNew Fathers 4 Justice - Superhero Dads

Its appears that Craven District Council are unhappy that the ‘Purple Phantom’ has been attempting to ‘unveil the truth’ in the North Yorkshire area. Like us you might be wondering what are they trying to hide? However the email below if for your attention:-

Dear Sir or Madam

We have recently received a complaint about fly posting in the area of Craven, particularly in the town of Skipton and the village of Crosshillls.

Having seen one of the posters,  they say:-

‘We are looking for local support to unveil the truth

Having trouble seeing your kids? www.newfathers4justice.co.uk

Equal Rights. Equal Opportunities’

That is why I am making contact with you on your general email address.

I do not know who is responsible for putting up the individual posters, I have seen a number of them on trees and lamp posts etc. as I have driven around the district but I understand there…

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Daily update for my Boys 31 May 2014

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Good evening Little Men!

Hope you both are great and had a lovely Saturday !

Sorry I am so late , I guess I have missed you before you went to bed ! I ended up going home with the Jenkings 5 and family for a braai after the big birthday bash … You both would have loved today , they had ice cream cake for Madison and two normal cakes for the twins , the place had a huge outdoor jungle-gym , jumping castle , and loads of other play park things even one that looked like an aircraft , I think the little ones had a great day as I did not see them sit or stand still for one minute 🙂 the goodie bags Justine made were also really nice I think all the little friends enjoyed them lots.

I passed by the Marx family en route this morning as I still had Jayden’s gift also to deliver , he made me smile as he is becoming more and more chatty with me now each time he sees me !

I think all the gifts went down well , so a job well done , four little ones have gone to bed tonight with big smiles and dreams of new adventures with all the new toys!

I need to phone the twins next weekend as that is their actual birthday so really looking forward to having a chat with them , sure they will have plenty to tell me about their week 🙂

Tomorrow I need to sort the last bit of my work stuff here and pack as Monday I am off again , the week has now really gone very quick but am looking forward to get back with my guys at the factory as I think June will be a good an interesting month for us all.

Well Champs , really sorry you missed out on a great party today , but maybe one day you can join as I am sure the twins would love having you both around for a bit of fun.

As always Little men , I will join you shortly under our big old green tree in dreamland , packing big party bear dream cuddles for you both ….

Night , night Champs …sweet dreams of lovely summer days …

Love you both lots and lots and miss you today mega lots more ….

Love you Little Men ….always …

Dad xx

Daily update for my Boys 30 May 2014

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Good evening Little Men !

How are my muppets today ? I hope very , very well ….

It’s been a busy day here , got all the shopping done for my trip , the house and the big birthdays tomorrow 🙂 I hope the little ones are going to like their gifts , the boys were easy as I just thought of what I would have bought for you both as you all are 3 now , the girls not so easy but Ouma came to help thus I am sure the little princesses will be happy also …

We had a stunning winters day here once more , I must say I did expect it to be a little cooler by now but no complaints from my side re this.

I got all my hotel bookings etc also for next month now so we are all ready to go it seems , it should be a good month , the lads are closing with some very positive numbers for May so I am really proud of them all they did a great job 🙂

Still no news from the Court Champs , thus I assume we will only hear back from them next week , but I will let you know as and when I get an update… Or new Court dates ….

I hope you two are ready for the weekend ! You must be full of plans and fun ideas of what you would like to go do …I just hope you are safe and oki doki ….

I will see if I can get some pictures of the little ones tomorrow , can’t believe how much they have grown the past 6 months , makes me sad as you both must have grown and developed just as much…….

So my little men , hope to see you both a little later under our big old green tree in dreamland …can’t wait for my big bear dream cuddles …

Night , night Champs …..happy dreams of a fun weekend , maybe with lots of fun dancing ;

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Love you both this …..;

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And miss you more ……

Love you Little Men ….always ….

Dad xx

Daily update for my Boys 29 May 2014

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Hello Little Men!

Hope you muppets are well and had a great day !

What a lovely winters day here again 🙂

This week has gone past really quick , can’t believe I have to almost pack already again ….

Ended up spending most of the day in front of my computer and on Skype again today , so much for a little me time this week , lol , but all good lots of good news and plenty of progress and that is the name of the game …. But this all means I have to hit the Mall tomorrow hard for the birthday shopping and some things for my trip and the house…..

I have looked at dates also , and as such have emailed the Court to say the next date I have free to go to jail and or the contested hearing would be last week of August, I had some other plans but that will have to wait , so we shall see what they say but I had to ensure we are all working to the same dates.

Been thinking a lot about you both today , wondering what you are doing and if you are safe and well…just have this gut feeling all is not as it should be , let’s hope my gut might be wrong for the first time ever! Just know you are in my thoughts and heart always …..

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Sorry champs , had a very long phone call from Dubai … Just now , so my chain of thought is broken on your email …

But I can’t wait to see you both later under our big old green tree in dreamland ….. Looking forward to my little O dream cuddles …

Night , night muppets ….happy dreams …..

Love you both lots and lots and miss you lots and lots and more lots more …

Love you Champs ….always …

Dad xx

Daily update for my Boys 28 May 2014

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Hello Little Men!

Hope my Champs are well and had a great day 🙂

It was ones again a lovely winters day ,more bright blue skies , a nice friendly warm sun as only an African winter can be ….

I have been tied up a little with work stuff most of today , so only managed a quick trip to the mall to go to the bank , but Ouma and I have decided to go shopping tomorrow , her and Oupa had a funeral today so I did not see them.

I had lots of good news work wise today , all the guys seem to be doing really well , looks like 2014 will be a good year for all , which is good news for sure….

No news today from the Court , I guess it might take a couple of days to get a new full listing date it seems.

I hope you both are making the most of your summer with plenty of outside play time and lots of visits to the park with B&B , they must be big by now also …. Hope you two are looking after them well and that you are keeping a good stash of treats for them 🙂

Oupa now have all the parts back for his DKW restoration project it seems , so looks like that will keep him busy the next couple of weeks , it might be done end of next month when I am back in South Africa again so will send you some pictures ones it’s all ready to hit the open road….

Well champs , as always I can’t wait to see you both a little later under our big old green tree in dreamland ….looking forward to some big double O dream cuddles and smiles ….

Night , night muppets …. Sweet dreams of long fun Summer days …. And plenty of ice cream stains on your shirts …lol

Love you both around the world and back and miss you to the moon and back …

Love you Champs ….always ….

Dad xx

Grief Management after the Narcissist

Kim Saeed's avatarLet Me Reach with Kim Saeed

yellow tundra flower

The period after the Narcissist leaves or your implementing No Contact is often a time of not only shock, but of personal disaster.  It feels like you’re floating in the middle of the ocean, with no life preserver and no land in sight.  It’s also when you feel extremely alone, even if you are in the company of your children or well-meaning friends.

Along with other dynamics that developed in the toxic relationship, not being able to manage grief effectively is often a catalyst that sends people crawling back to their abuser or leaving the door wide open to months or years of further mistreatment.

Following are suggestions that will help you endure the state of disbelief you feel when the Narcissist finally leaves and files for divorce, or after you’ve implemented No Contact (and perhaps filed for divorce yourself).

processing grief

Let it Sink In

The most common reaction most victims…

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