Measuring Loss.

Karen Woodall

How do we measure the loss to a child when a parent is removed through family separation by one hostile parent acting against the other.

Or the loss that happens when the court officer says ‘no contact.’

As a society we have been trained to measure it in ‘the best interests of the child.’  A phrase which alternately means prevention of conflict is best for the child and a child does not really need two parents to do ok.

In some cases that may well be the case.  Where a parent (mother or father) has harmed or could harm a child  and where there is a clear benefit to the child to remove them from conflict which is severe and unending (and in that case the removal should be from the parent causing the conflict, not the targeted parent, the one who is usually removed).

We do not measure loss…

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Sociopath Change


There are so many things ‘we’ do not understand about a Sociopath! And one of the biggest things is, why do they not want to change???

All of us go through changes in our lives! Careers, marriages, our bodies, where we live and so on. But one constant in us, is the ability to reasoning, comprehension, decision making etc. The huge difference with a Sociopath is, they are always changing One day they ‘love you’, the next you are the worst person they have ever encountered. One day they ‘want to spend the rest of their life with you’, next day, they can’t stand the thought of being with you. One day they want to be an astronaut, the next day….maybe a painter. One day they are going to leave their partner to be with you, the next day…..well you might not even hear from them. Or better…

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Mina en George


Twaalf jaar gelede het ons vir Mina en George in Kleinmond kom kry. Elke dorp het mos maar sy probleem met bergies, en die afgelope paar jaar het Kleinmond se probleem groter geword. Maar Mina en George was seker ons bekendste en geliefdste ‘paartjie’. Mina met haar regop ruggie, en George al slingerende oor die pad, as hy hoogtrap as die Rooiproppie trek.

Vir lank was hulle woonplek in die bosse in die digte fynbos hier onder, naby ons huis, en het hulle paadjie tussen drankwinkel en boshuis by ons huis verbygeloop. Vir ‘n hele ruk het ek gereeld vir Mina haar R7 gegee vir hulle ‘stofie se paraffien’, totdat ek op ‘n dag besef het sy is die stofie en die Rooiproppie (wat toevallig R7 kos) die paraffien. Toe is ons maar weer terug op net kos as ek hulle sien. Sy noem my Juffrou, om een of ander…

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