Daily update for my Boys 28 Feb 2014



Hello little men…

Hope you both are well and had a great day ….

Just back at the hotel from Court , boys the Court and your care giver has only offered supervised contact and I have declined that offer as I am not willing to be treated as a criminal… The Court has decided that I can send you cards and gifts to Dave’s house as you care giver refused to involve Jules and AJ , boys I am sorry but I will not take up that offer, so I guess from now until you both are 18 the blog will be our only form of contact….

Oscar it broke my heart as your care giver says you keep asking for me … And she is telling you that I am at work , just know little man I am here and will always be if you want to contact me….

Oliver the same goes for you little man , I am really sorry that I will not be any part of your lives from now on …but boys I have tried but I guess this is what your care giver and her spokesperson wanted , just hope that they will be able to explain this all to you both one day as I don’t think I will be around to do it myself……

Boys just know you both are my life and that my love for you both will never go away no matter……

Boys I am so very sorry that you both will be kept hostage by these child abusers ………

I guess in my mind you two will always stay 2 years old …….

As always little men can’t wait to see you both under our big old green tree in dream land , today and always …..brining you both huge dream cuddles little men ……

Night , night little men , happy dreams of us 3 seeing each other maybe one day again……

Love you both with all my heart and sole always …..

Love you little men…

Dad xx

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Daily update for my Boys 27 Feb 2014



Good afternoon little men…

How are you both doing today ? I hope great ! It’s freezing outside today… Hope you are warped up warm….

Just been to Court to go meet the people , was a bit of a nightmare as my sat nav kept taking me in circles but I have found it in the end … Went to go introduce myself to the Court staff as the new resident loony…. They all seemed like nice people…..

Had a walk round after Court to the Mall close by as I had to get some credit for my UK phone , it always amazes me how busy Malls are here on a working day , I guess it just shows that most people here don’t work……

Must say I was dead on my feet last night , think I was in bed around 7 UK time and slept really well , only woke up around 7 30 , think I needed it….

Don’t have any plans for the rest of the day , guess I will not get to see you both as I assume you both are being kept hostage now while I am here at your care givers spokespersons house ….can’t be any fun for you both that I am sure ….had to suffer that misery many , many times the past 5 years …..

Not sure who is looking after B&B now I guess one of your cousins….hope they are also ok…..

Just had to drag all the Court files out of the back of the car , the car is so small it filled the whole boot ! Lol …..need to sort out what I have to take for tomorrow and what is irrelevant that can be left behind , sure there will be enough people in Court tomorrow with copies if I have missed something…the set that is here now will be left for safe keeping for you both should you one day want to read it all….

Well little men I really hope you both are safe and happy , sorry again that I am not able to see you both but this is the game your care giver and her spokesperson have played for the past 11 months , they have no shame , have always known that but I guess this just proof that they don’t care for you both at all , it’s a control game for them both , same as what it was before I left your care giver….some things never change……. ( breaks my heart…)

Can’t wait to see you both later tonight under our big old green tree in dream land …..bringing huge bear cuddles and lots of smiles for you both….

Night , night little men …..happy warm safe dreams …..

Love you both extra TThhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiSSSSS much and miss you more …..

Love you little men always …..

Dad xx

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Triggers; what are they and how do we work through them?

A very good post …worth a read ….

My Justice ~~ Patricia A McKnight

  • 1:a piece (as a lever) connected with a catch or detent as a means of releasing it
  • 2:something that acts like a mechanical trigger in initiating a process or reaction
  • Psychiatry
    A factor that initiates and aggravates a behaviour or response.
  • Etymology

    D, trekker, that which pulls

    a substance, object, or agent that initiates or stimulates an action.

For ‘Survivors of Trauma’ triggers are any combination of person, place, thing or action, which sets off a remembered emotion or fear. These for are instinctive reactions engrained in our system from the attack/traumatic situation that caused the original emotion.

Just like we have remembered happy moments, which set off laughter or tenderness; compassion, we can also have negative and fearful moments. In fact; as my therapist shared with me, if the trauma is severely impacting our body will lean more toward a negative memory before a happy memory because…

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