Hostility against Grandparents following Parental Separation and Divorce

Your Journey to Healing Starts Here

Grandparents do not go unscathed when the marriage of a couple fails and results in the implacable hostility of at least one of the partners against the other. Once a partner has been alienated or rejected and prevented from having good contact with the children of the relationship, the extended family, including grandparents are also frequently prevented from further contact.

Grandparents at present do not have any legal rights to be involved with their grandchildren’s lives. When there is implacable hostility expressed by the custodial parent this can cause great pain to the innocent grandparents, especially when they have had a warm and caring relationship with the children in the past.

The children themselves are in a conflict situation and unable to understand why their beloved and loving grandparents have been taken from them. Frequently they hear negative and malicious and mostly untrue comments from the custodial parent with who…

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Daily update for my Boys 29 May 2015


Hello Big Guys ! 
Well the weekend is here ! The pic above is me …weekend ready 😄… 
Hope you muppets have had a nice day and perhaps some sunshine at some point lol 

Heading out for Dinner in a bit thus I thought best to say a quick hello as I am not sure what time I will get back.

Had a great trip this morning on the new high speed train ,felt like a flight to be honest , don’t think I have ever been on the new trains before or at least not what I can remember.

Need to go to the office for a couple of hours in the morning , loads to do before the new products go live in all the stores but should be fun to see this 3 year project showing some major results 🎉👍 , I think the lads are not so happy as all the new projects seems to have closed in the last 2 weeks but hey as I told them today it’s the best kind of problem to have.

O I almost forgot to tell you both , as Jayne and cafcass is not allowing me to send you both any more gifts or things you want since 13 May , and seeing they both say my gifts for you are inappropriate I decided to go all out and bought Ouma a brand new Fiat 500 1.4 auto , full leather , Ferrari red with a private reg that is OLIOSC – GP , your savings account has taken a 15000 pound hit but I guess you both will never get to use or benefit from the funds so now at least each day when Ouma goes mingling she can think of you both and remember your kindness as I told her when she goes to collect it you muppets bought it for her and I took a red one as I think that is the one you both would have liked most 😄

I will get her to send us some pictures when she goes and collects it when they are back in Pretoria 
Well Champs , hope you both will have sweet safe , happy dreams and as always I can’t wait to see you both a little later under our big old green tree in dreamland for some big bear dream cuddles 
Night , night , love you to the moon and back a billion times and miss you more 
Love you always Little Men ….
Dad xoxo 

Parental alienation in the UK

Your Journey to Healing Starts Here

On the whole, I am not someone who finds the routine use of labels helpful. However, in the case of Parental Alienation, I strongly believe the failure to use this label in the UK has perpetuated a lack of understanding and helplessness in those that work in this area. This helplessness parallels the experience of the 54 mothers and fathers who took part in my recent research study. For these parents, the “Parental Alienation” label enabled them to begin to make sense of their experience through accessing the large volume of literature and, more limited, peer support available. Yet despite this understanding, their sense of powerlessness was exacerbated by their encounters with the courts, Cafcass, social care services and legal professionals.

In my clinical and consultancy work, I continue to hear from the majority of parents, and many solicitors, that raising parental alienation as a concept is a non-starter. In…

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Hostile aggressive parenting (HAP)

Your Journey to Healing Starts Here

  • Often seen in high-conflict situations where an adult is unable to get over the separation and uses the child to control or seek revenge on the target parent. These parents cannot acknowledge their child’s needs, may view children as belonging just to them and often cannot see the damage they are inflicting on their children.
  • Sometimes these types of situations can develop so a child is significantly influenced by one parent to completely reject the other parent, placing them in a situation where they must view one parent as bad and one parent as good.  This leaves no space for a child to love both parents. The child is forced to deny or reject a part of themselves. Any intervention should be guided by the assessment of a qualified professional.
  • Can extend beyond the parent-child relationship and include other significant adults in a child’s life such as grandparents or step-parents.
  • It is…

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Identifying Pathology

Dr. Craig Childress: Attachment Based "Parental Alienation" (AB-PA)

I recently heard (secondhand) a critique by a mental health professional about an attachment-based model of “parental alienation.”  This mental health professional was apparently concerned about “labeling” the alienating parent’s pathology as being related to personality disorder processes (“Why do we need to “label” the parent as having a personality disorder?”)

I wish to take this opportunity to address this concern for “labeling” the pathology of the allied and supposedly favored parent.

Identifying pathology is the central and primary function of mental health professionals.

To say that we shouldn’t identify the nature and severity of psychological pathology is like saying the legal system shouldn’t identify the nature and severity of the violations of the law.

Judge: “I really feel uncomfortable labeling someone as a murderer. Can’t we just say they’re a doer of bad things?”

Psychologist: “I know the person has prominent hallucinations, delusions, and conceptual disorganization, but why do…

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