Fathers have been driven away because the pain of not seeing their kids regularly is too much to bare

Wednesday, March 19, 2014 “I’ve never experience a worse situation, while at the same time the courts expect exemplary behaviour from dad” Send to 310 parliamentarians, Canadian MP’s via advocacycanada.ca

Dear Member of Parliament,

I am writing to you to encourage your support for Bill, C-560 amending the Divorce Act. As a father of separation I have personally seen how much my child has been hurt by a system that supports primary care with mom and every second weekend with dad. That sort of parenting plan was refuted in 1998 by the report “For the Sake of the Children.” But that sort of arrangement still occurs in the vast majority of cases much to the pain of fathers and their children.

Ninety percent of adult children of divorce have said that a balanced parenting schedule, giving them access to both of their parents while growing up would have been preferred. Many, many fathers have been driven away because the pain of not seeing their kids regularly is too much to bare. Leaving may not be right, but I know that paternal pain and I don’t blame those men. I’ve never experience a worse situation, while at the same time the courts expect exemplary behaviour from dad.

I have had an up hill battle with the courts to try and get 50/50 parenting. I’m as good or even a better parent to my son yet I’m having to prove I’m a great parent try and get 50/50. She’s proven she’s as good as yet she has 80% parenting time. Her new boyfriend has more parenting time with my son than me and he’s really not a nice guy. This situation that goes on still across the country is wrong.

We still have family court judges, without real evidence of violence toward a former spouse or a child, handing a child over to the mother and carving very carrying and loving fathers to the sidelines. In my case, false allegations of violence and abuse has caused me to go on a very long up hill climb to get equal parenting time. There’s been no consequences for mom’s false allegations (which did go unproven in a courtroom).

I’ve spent all my savings and all the credit I could find fighting for my son. He is now seven and since he could express the thought he has constantly asked me if he could spend more time with me. I find it so hard to look him in the eyes and tell him I’m doing everything I can to help him. I love him.

Bill C-560 aims to reform the federal divorce act to implement recommendations of the Special Senate-Commons Joint Committee on Child Custody and Access (1998) which expressed the will of Parliament. Public opinion surveys show that 80-85% of the Canadian public, both men and women equally, support the need for changes like what is proposed in the Bill.

Bill c-560 aims to reform the Divorce Act to include a presumption of “Equal Parenting”, that is, so that both parents keep rights and responsibilities for their children unless and until a court has determined, with clear evidence, that a parent is unfit. This has been done successfully in many jurisdictions, usually by making joint custody a rebuttable presumption.

Social science research shows that having both parents in the lives of children reduces a wide array of children’s educational, health and social disadvantages by about half. These reforms could reduce Canada’s poverty and social costs by more than that percentage, as well as alleviating large amounts of human suffering. Keeping both parents in the lives of their children (equal parenting) is the right thing to do, morally and economically.

My best wishes to you and I thank you for your time and attention to this important matter.

I look forward to your response.

Mr. Rob Kruyt

Source:
http://www.advocacy … attachment

Hello Little men….

Hope you both are doing great and having a fun day …..

It’s been a bit of non productive day here in the end….I guess we all get days like this…feels like the world is in slow motion for some reason…at least the skies are blue and the Sun is shinning…. See you always need to look for the silver lining as there is always one to be found , that I believe….

Been thinking about you both lots today , I assume you have seen the message from Ouma on the blog …..breaks my heart but nothing I can do about it….this is how it is…..I think Ouma has been working on your life box also today ….sure you will get plenty of cards and letters one day to read should you two muppets choose to do so…..

I am typing mine as my handwriting is so poor you two I think will never be able to read it…lol , I know I should have been a doctor …… But don’t think I am sympathetic enough with sick people sometimes , I live by the idea if you are sick , go to the doctor or take a tablet and get on with it , guess that will be my down fall….

O I forgot to tell you both the domestic worker has gone missing the past two weeks now , I don’t know if she is ok or is she has decided to take a holiday without telling me ….hope she is ok , but if she is not back next week I think the lady from the ironing shop is going to think she won the a Lotto , lol….. They joys of home help in Africa …..

I wonder if you two are able to have some fun outside playtime now that the weather is better in the UK , I do hope you are taking B&B to the park daily now for some fun….sure they must be loving it also…..make sure you wipe their paws when you get back home so they don’t mess up the carpets …….

As I said yesterday tomorrow is bank holiday as you would call it , here …so no big plans…might have to sort some work stuff but am waiting for some info…if not we will tackle that next week again…..

O I have had to turn the Dubai phone off as your paid surrogates bank is phoning me 10 times a day because she is not paying her bills it seems , nothing changes with her, I have told them to phone her father and bank her security chqs so they can press criminal charges against her as I still think jail is the best place for her long term , not being horrible , just stating my opinion….

Well champs can’t wait to see you both later in dreamland under our big old green tree ….can’t wait for my dream cuddles and dream smiles…..

Night night champs , dream big and adventures…..

Love you both a billion tons and miss you a trillion tons more ….

Love you little men …..always …

Dad xx

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