Control Games with Words

A good article on PAS …

Ms. Donna's avatarFrom Torn 2 Pieces 2 Peace

If you fear having feelings independent of and in opposition to one of your parents and becoming a target of rejection you’ve seen him or her direct at others who disagree, you’re likely being manipulated.

You (or a friend) may have a parent who is so controlling and possessive, he or she will want to cut those you love (or once loved) out of your life.  This hurts. It hurts because, among other things, it’s not loving.  It’s called Parental Alienation, and some experts call it “the worst form of child abuse.”  imagesCAZ5BLXM

Tragically, some parents will use the following to cut your other parent out of your life:

  • guilt (e.g., “I don’t know why your father left us; everything seemed okay”);

  • intimidation (e.g., “Go to your mother’s if you want, but you are not to hug her cute little boyfriend anymore. Do you understand?”);

  • fear (e.g., “I just want you kids to know that I’11 be here the whole time…

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Daily update for my Boys 18 March 2014

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Hello little men….

How are my muppets doing this afternoon ?….I hope great …

Well it’s been a nice day here , still a little cloudy but no rain so that’s good …

I went out this morning to help Oupa with some things he had to sort on the small show bike he restored … The rest of the day has been a bit of a lazy one if I am honest ….not feeling great … So just been taking it easy….

Ouma packed all the Court stuff at her house , so this is also now all boxed and ready for you both to read one day should you wish to do so….

O I gave Ouma the cordless phones from the house …I think there is still a message on of you two monkeys picking up the phone and giggling and playing in the back ground …..guess she will keep that always to know what you both sound like …..

It’s long weekend here this week , well actually Thursday is public holiday but it seems most people are taking Friday off also …. I think it is Human rights day here if I have it right ……

If I am feeling better tomorrow I think I will go to the Mall a bit , maybe take in a movie and a banana muffin ….yum , yum ……

I need to get the 4 x4 washed also as it is covered in mud from going to the dam the weekend but I have been putting it of until I know the rain is gone as knowing my luck , we will get a storm the minute I drive off from the car wash…..

Been missing you both lots today , all your picture frames have now been unpacked also , the picture are from your School in Horam so they are more then a year old now already , but they still make me smile each time I walk into my bedroom and I see them …..

I hope you have chosen your favourite toy already to take to hospital Olibear on friday …..thinking off you lots just really sorry your paid surrogate is not allowing me , Ouma and Oupa to wish you luck for the operation…but just know our thoughts are with you ..I know it will all go well….

O and I hope you have made a list of fun things you want to do on Friday also Oscar as I am sure you will be left in the care of your paid surrogates child abusing family ….or even the old drunk …really sorry that you are stuck with these horrible people …… Hope you will be ok being left with these child abusers and drunks for a whole day ……

I have gone to look twice now also for some nice Easter cards for you both but the shops don’t have any yet , I guess as far as I know Easter is not really a holiday we send cards for in South Africa thus I might have to get my glue stick and colouring pencils out to make you both some cards …maybe some chic feathers and macaroni is the way to go …lol , I was always really bad at these type of things in school and as a child but hey for you two I am happy to try and have a go but you both are not allowed to laugh at my handy work….lol

Well champs as always I will see you both a little later under our big old green tree in dream land ….can’t wait for my little man double cuddles and dream smiles …..

Night , night my little big dreamers ……sleep well

Love you both around the world and back and miss you lots and lots and lots more …..

Love you always little men…

Dad xx

Daily update for my Boys 17 March 2014

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Hello Little Men….

How are you two doing today ? I hope fantastic….

You are not going to believe it Champs , it looks like the rain is back … Feels like I am back in the UK…lol

I had a busy day here running around sorting lots of little things but it needed to be done , I am also helping out on a couple of Facebook pages now so I need to get the links so I can post them here…. They all are very relevant to what us 3 are dealing with and might make some good reading for you two one day …. Maybe when you are a little older as I would not say it is light entertainment reading for little men…. Just yet …

Sorry I have not gotten round to the video update as promised , I will do my best to get it sorted tomorrow….

Clare the nice lady we have been chatting to on here is going into Court tomorrow re her little ones ….so I really hope it goes well for them , as I told her today is , that she can only do her best and stay strong …all will be fine in the end …..

I wonder what you two muppets have up your sleeve for this week , I know Oliver has his operation and I hope you have some fun plans Oscar as I am pretty sure Olibear is not going to want to play when he gets home , but knowing you champ you would be quite happy playing by yourself and having the run of the house all for yourself…..

I have been sleeping better but still feels like a train had hit me when I wake up in the morning …not sure what is going on , this morning I was awake at 6am but decided to go back to sleep and when I woke at 8 am it felt like I had not slept at all , guess it is the same as me not being able to nap during the day as for when I wake , then I am like a bear with a sore tooth …lol , not a happy camper as they saying goes…..

Well pals , hope you both are doing well , having lots of playtime , feeding B&B extra Oreo biscuits and snacks to make them both big and strong pups like you both……

So little men…I will be waiting under our big old green tree in dreamland later tonight as normal with big bear cuddles for you both ….

Night , night pals …dream big , remember the sky is the limit and nothing is impossible…..

Love and miss you both very much , each and every day all the time ….

Love you my little O’s ….always …

Dad xx

Former Wife’s Emergency Motion for Contempt/Enforcement and for Appointment of Alienation Expert

Family Court Victim's avatarFAMILY COURT VICTIM

custody for cash 1

So here I am. On a gray, rainy and cold day looking at yet another 14 page Emergency Motion for Contempt to be filed with the court. My lawyer has recently prepared this and wants me to review it so that she can file it. I used to get so excited over these. Because I thought it meant surely change would now happen. Surely, my ex-husband would be held accountable now. Surely, the Judge would now see my ex-husband as clearly as I do. But, this is my 5th one in 18 months. I don’t get excited anymore. Now I just shrug my shoulders and dread even reading it and editing it. What is the point? All it does is remind me how horribly my daughter and myself have been treated by the family court system and how I have no control over it. Besides, as usual, my lawyer has waited so long that it is likely…

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Who Owns Ya?

A very good article Anja , as. dad that has been dealing with this for over a year an d no end in sight … We need to speak up and spread the word as things have change …..

anja eriud's avatarNot A Feminist

It’s a particularly Irish expression – and it relates to children. Usually said if a child has been caught “up to no good” and sure what child hasn’t been?

But, when an adult did, or in some case still does, catch one of these little rascals  in the act – the first thing they want to know is “who owns ya” generally followed by “ya lttle skelp”” because parents are ultimately responsible for what their children get up too.

Now, the concept of “ownership” in relation to children in this instance isn’t the same as ownership of inanimate property, or wasn’t, but as I said above, a concept whereby parents were responsible for what their children got up too, when out and about, or out of sight of their parents beady eyes.

All that has changed – because of feminism – in…

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Daily update for my Boys 16 March 2014

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Good evening little men…

Hope you have had a great Sunday muppets …..

Just got back from a very nice day at the dam with the Jenkings five plus Ouma and Oupa Jenkings … Liam gave me the biggest cuddle to say thank you for the train table set …he seems well pleased with it …. I know the twins are a month younger than you two and today made me think of you two so much …are you as chatty ….are you so playful ?……these two are mega busy …I smiled Liam was busy with the broom a lot again , I think I have told you two before he has a little cleaning obsession ..so he kept sweeping the patio and steps as we came in and out of the house from the grass and dam…

I look like I caught some sun today … I had sun block on but it was a very nice sunny day here , first good one in a while ….. I look like a tourist in Dubai …lol

The house at the dam is really nice , I think the little ones are going to have loads of fun there over the next couple of years learning to water ski , jet ski and just having fun in the dam ….. No shoes , no shirts , mud and fun as little people should have , I think you two would love this place , so much to see , do and experience…. Lots of little friends around to play with also ……

So we are at the end of yet another week with no contact champs … I hope you are ok and having fun , next week is also the big operation Oliver , sure we will not hear from your paid surrogate re this but just know you are in our hearts and thought each and every day …..

Well little men I wish you a happy fun week , with lots of giggles and smiles and safe times at hospital ……..maybe you will get to drive the big car down to the operating theatre again….like last time …should be great fun….

Have fun ….always …….

I will see you both a little later tonight as normal under our big old green tree in dream land , I will be the red one ….lol …please back me some cool bear cuddles and dream smiles …..

Night , night little champs ….happy new week dreams …..

Love you both tons and tons and miss you lots bigger tons …

Love you pals ….always …

Dad xx

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