Author Archives: Phill Ferreira
Ten Steps over the Transition Bridge: Part One
The Inevitable Loss of Dignity inside Narcissistic Abuse
Morning Kim , thank you for this felt like I was reading a page in a book about my life the past 5 years …..
I talk to people rather frequently who’ve come out of the relationship with their Narcissist and cannot seem to work through their feelings of anger and resentment. This is natural; something we all go through. After all, we gave and gave to the Narcissist, believing the problems in the relationship were our fault. We tried harder, became more forgiving. We swept their transgressions under the rug and perhaps even told them we knew they didn’t mean to hurt us. As humans we aren’t perfect, right?
I also talk to people who are in denial about their situation. They start thinking about all they’d lose if they left their Narcissistic partner who provides them with a nice lifestyle. If children are involved, they may feel it’s unfair to deny them this more affluent lifestyle than they’d be able to afford as a single parent.
Deniers convince themselves that the situation isn’t…
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Daily update for my Boys 12 May 2014
Hello Little Beach bums !
Hope you muppets are doing very well today !
Firstly I need to apologise , I said this morning in the video that it is 9 days until your big day but in fact it is 8 , seemed my watch stopped overnight as I did not wear it yesterday at all just working in the hotel , thus I do apologise , shows you I was not awake yet that early in the morning … 🙂
I see your blog is getting loads of views from Turkey the past couple of days , so I just want to say welcome and thank you to the readers whom are taking the time to read and follow this little blog of my twin boys …. The boys are in fact on holiday in Turkey as I write so am pretty sure they would have loved to meet you and blow you all a big thank you kiss as only my monkeys can do … 🙂
Back to my day , all good I must say , cleared my stock audit headache from Sunday so am really pleased about that , I am leaving for Islamabad in the morning early so am looking forward to a nice road trip , it’s raining here now so hope the roads will be ok , I think most of the new motorway should be complete by now so will be a nice easy drive …… Until we hit the City ….
I had a local lunch with the lads in production today as I promised them a meal of their choice if they achieve some production targets for me last week , which of course they did , nothing like a little incentive to improve productivity , am not so sure the chicken curry and nan they opted for was the best idea for my stomach , I guess we will have to wait and see what tonight brings ….might leave the bathroom light on , lol , if you know what I mean ….but I know it means the world to the lads for me to join them in the break room and break bread or as it was today nan with them and eat with my hands and share and be part of their team , I always think they find it strange that I agree to join them as I assume many other people would not, but this is my team and breaking bread or nan is part of building a relationship and mutual respect and understanding of each other …..
So beach bums , I hope you are having loads of cheese , tomatoes and fresh honey for your breakfast , best part of being in Turkey for me always …
I hope you two are having a fantastic time and making lots of memories , just sorry I will never get to do things like that with you both until you are 18 ….breaks my heart but that is what your paid surrogate wants ….
As always Little Men , can’t wait to see you both under our big old green tree in dreamland , hoping for some nice beach bum dream bear cuddles and smiles later …
Night , night Champs , happy dreams of days having breakfast in the sun outside each and every day like what I do …..,
Love you both all the fish in the see much and miss you more than all the sand on the beach ….
Love you Little Men….always ….
Dad xx
A little Monday morning Video Hello :-)
Report on fee-charging McKenzie Friends.
Daily update for my boys 11 May 2014
Hello Little Men!
I hope you muppets had a fantastic day in the Sun ! Sure you must be having loads of fun ….I just hope you both are safe and being looked after !
Well so much for my me day plans , I was on the computer the whole day doing spreadsheets and stock recon’s and if I am honest I think I am now more confused then before I started , lol … Pretty sure we will get it sorted tomorrow when I am back in the office and can pull all the master control files ….
I spoke to Ouma also this morning to say Happy Mother’s Day ! They were just at home it seems as they have guys doing some painting and stuff on the house , her and Oupa both send their love and big cyber cuddles for you both !
So tomorrow is the start of yet another week of me not being allowed to see you both or speak with you …… People always says time makes things better but I am afraid to say this does not seem to be the case in this regard …I think the missing you both is getting worse , maybe it’s just also being here so long with no contact other than the people from work , seems to also make the weeks feel longer …..
But hey , have loads to get done here the next 2 weeks still so we soldier on 🙂
Well Little Men I just want to wish you both a great week and hope you are having a fantastic holiday , maybe one day us 3 will get to have a holiday or even just a day together ….who knows ….. Only 15 years to wait , so guess that is not that bad ….. 😦
So Champs I will see you both all tanned then later under our big old green tree in dreamland , I will pack some nice cool Polar bear dream cuddles for you both … , I found this new picture of our tree ….
Night , night Little Men …happy dreams of loads of play time on the beach ….
Love you both more than all the water in the ocean and miss you more than all the sand on the beach … 🙂
Love you Champs ….always …
Dad xx
Welcome to Grandparent Support Greater Manchester
Grandparent Support wishes to raise awareness of all the issues that contemporary grandparents face, we need your help to circulate our leaflet so that we may help others to help themselves, by setting up support groups tailor made for specific needs, throughout the North West.
What is Grandparent Support?
Grandparent Support is an online and community based support network set up for all grandparents who need support, whether you are raising your grandchildren or you have no contact with them.
Who do we support?
The “Sandwich Generation”
Grandparent Carers & their Families
Alienated Grandparents & their Families
We also welcome other alienated members of the family, from parents or step-parents, brothers and sisters, to aunties, uncles and cousins.
Supporting Alienated Grandparents and their Families
There are over 1 million Grandparents who are alienated from their grandchildren in the UK alone. It is also a worldwide problem.
Alienation can…
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Some Mother’s Day Footprints Little Men xxx
Hope you are wearing lots of sun block this morning 🙂
When You Release All Fear of Your Narcissistic Spouse
Thanks as always Kim for a great and informative post 🙂 , hope you are having a nice weekend …take care Phill
**This article was written for victims of Narcissistic abuse. If you are experiencing Domestic Violence, please contact thehotline.org.
Narcissists enjoy instilling fear in their victims because it makes them feel omnipotent to do so. An added bonus is that it keeps their victims complaint. In their mind, a person with no self-esteem and a great sense of fear is the perfect subservient pawn.
For the most part, fear is nothing more than a conditioned reaction to a perceived danger. Most things we fear, we don’t have a direct answer for. It happens automatically at the subconscious level. This is especially so for victims of Narcissistic abuse because the conditioning occurs consistently, causing paralysis in the victim who doesn’t dare explore their available options.
If you “believe” that something is harmful to you, you naturally will fear it.
Common fears instilled by the Narcissist:
- You’re too old
- You’re not…
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The Story of my Twin Boys Oliver and Oscar Ferreira 
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