My “What If” Life

sticklebean's avatardanielandtasco

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Any person who has lost a close family member or had a traumatic life changing experience in their lives have had to struggle with the “What If” scenario. And in the light of recent events this “What If” sequence has again raised its head in my life.

Having lost my Dad and his brother in a terrible car accident at the age of 5 months old, I grew up with the thought in my head, “What If my Dad hadn’t died? How different would my life have been if he hadn’t gotten into that car?” And it was a notion that followed me as I got older, especially as the relationship between my ex step father deteriorated and my relationship with my mother was rocky at the best of times. “Would I still be in this situation if my Dad was still alive?”

I spent a lot of time through out…

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RIP my friend!

sticklebean's avatardanielandtasco

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“Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.
From an Irish headstone”
Richard Puz, The Carolinian    

To our beautiful friend, in the stark morning light I am still struggling with the reality that you are truly gone. Last night we heard the terrible news that you had passed away in a car accident. It is the first time in a long time that I cried myself to sleep.

As I tried to come to terms with the fact that we would never hear your laugh or listen to your diving stories, it dawned upon me that you had spent your last few years living your dream. And that reminded me of all our adventures in the desert and how you were the life of the party!

And while our pain may be to hard to express I hate to think…

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PM wants me out, says family rights campaigner

New Fathers 4 Justice's avatarNew Fathers 4 Justice - Superhero Dads

A father campaigning in Witney for better family rights has said that the Prime Minister wants him out of the town as he is “frustrating constituents”.

Chris Tompson met with David Cameron in Witney earlier this month Chris Tompson met with David Cameron in Witney earlier this month

Chris Tompson has been in Witney since last month, and has parked his car outside David Cameron’s constituency office in Witney High Street.

Mr Cameron spoke to him on July 11 to discuss Chris’ concerns about family law, and also expressed concerns about the impact of his protest.

“He said he needs to have me gone, because I was frustrating the constituents” said Chris.

“But what I told him was it was me going round to the constituents and asking them to complain so the Prime Minister would deal with me.”

Natasha Whitmill, press officer at David Cameron’s constituency office, said: “Mr Cameron said if Mr Tompson wrote down his grievances it would…

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The lives of others: Psycho-Genealogy and Parental Alienation

karenwoodall's avatarKaren Woodall - Psychotherapist, Writer, Supervisor, Trainer

This week we have been travelling and training as well as broadcasting to the world.  In St Helier,  the Jersey Centre for Separated Families was hosting a training day for a fantastic new group of volunteers.   On a baking hot day, we worked with another amazing group of people, developing more support to parents on the island who are experiencing separation and the problems that it brings to adults and children alike.

On Sunday evening, from our hotel bedroom, to an audience drawn from across the globe, we discussed alienation and the role of domestic violence on a webinar for Parental Alienation Awareness Organisation (PAAO). Throughout all of our work this week we have been meeting families and people who care about them.

Families and the people who live in them are the whole of what we do when we work with family separation and the problems that arise…

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Daily update for my Boys 29 July 2014

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Good evening Little Men!

I hope my Champs are nice and snuggled today as it has gone freezing here today since this morning 😦

It’s been a bit of a lazy day if I am honest , around 3 hours with the phone company on the line and yes still no adsl line working , lol , I guess I will try tomorrow again or see if they can send a tech out to check because as normal they said no issue , we switch your landline to adsl then you plug the box in and it works …well seems not as simple as that or maybe I am just thick , lol , least it might be sorted before I go as they said 21 days yesterday when I did the application thus the sales team is on the ball and back of house not so much but hey it’s Africa , things take a little longer sometimes 🙂

I went to do all my shopping for my trip this morning also , now I must say I have not bought Gillette razor blades in a year and a half as I had those box sets from Boots with like 10 blades I think , still have one left so thought I better get some spare , I paid around 20 quid for 4 blades ! Madness I say , lol , as the full sets use to be like 20 quid in the UK with loads of blades , so Champs by the time you muppets start shaving the surrogate might have to find a job to buy you blades as her benefits I am pretty sure is not going to cut it to keep two dashing young men’s faces baby smooth….for the ladies ..

The Jenkings 5 wants me to come for dinner on Thursday night again , It would be lovely to see the twins and big sister before I go but not sure I am going to get out as this cold outside makes me just want to sit on the sofa with a duvet…. And I know the next period is going to be a little crazy with work stuff and I need to get some planning done and also try and see Ouma and Oupa before I go as I am not sure when I will be back and thus not sure when I will see them again.

I see your Cousin , Catherine McClure , who tried to have a go on twitter last week had now backed off in the normal McClure cowardly fashion , as they say the apple never falls far from the tree with these people , just still breaks my heart that you are being kept hostage and forced to grow up with these horrible people , at least all your adult years in therapy they will not be able to blame me for as they will be 100% accountable for the permanent damage they are causing you both now daily.

Well muppets I think you are still having some nice sunny days so I hope the hostage negotiators and blackmailing child abusers are allowing you some fun outside playtime and not just stuck in the local bar getting hammered with the surrogate each day ! Not what little men should be doing that’s for sure ….

I will see you a little later then tonight under our big old green tree in dreamland , please pack some extra warm dream bear cuddles for me please …..

Night , night Champs ….happy dreams of child abuse free days soon …..

Love you both ttttthhhiiiissssss much and miss you both so , so much more ….

Love you Little Men …..always …..

Dad xx

I’m Not Worthy

familylawcoach's avatarfamilylawcoach

After having lunch with a friend and a very long discussion about or divorces I came to the realization, much to my dismay, that I married my dad.

I have heard that we always tend to marry our parents, obviously not literally, but figuratively, without even realizing it. Although maybe some places in the south…. anyway, the more we talked the more I realized just how similar they were. There are definitely differences between the two, such as my ex having gone to college and working a professional job earning a decent paycheck. My dad did not go to college and was a truck driver. My ex was very involved with our kids up until our separation, my dad never was. He was the typical 70’s dad, go to work, come home, eat dinner, plop in front of the t.v. for a baseball or football game and then I would…

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Daily update for my Boys 28 July 2014

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Good evening Little Men!

I hope my Champs are doing well and that you both have had a nice start to your week 🙂

I just got back from Dinner with Oom Brett and Tannie Sanet , lol ,Oom Brett has a proper elephants foot and two crutches , lol , I need to tell you the story about an elephants foot one day , Brett is really struggling to get around and is feeling extremely sorry for him self , if you boys know him you would get how funny this is as he is a proper tough guy but when he is sick he is the biggest baby , I remember when we were at university he had his wisdom teeth taken out and we all had a study group for our computer science exams and he would rock up each day with a full basket that his mum packed for him with soup and mashed food so that he did not hurt his gums , again if you knew him you would get the humour of this 21 year old huge gym fit guy rocking up with a cooler box packed by his mum with all the stuff he might need for the day 🙂

Ouma and I went out today to try and sort her computer again , still the sound card issue but as she is not willing to leave it with the guys to send away to check it , to end the drama and going around in circles I bought her a new tablet today that she can use for Skype and then keep all her other stuff on her old computer , the 3G at home has been really poor the past week also so I have done the paper work for a fixed adsl line in the house , yes I know I will hardly ever be here to use it but as you boys know I like things done properly so I do hope this will sort the issues with the information super highway as the blog is taking 2 or 3 min now to load the pictures each night for you muppets which drives me up the wall.

Now I guess I need to get Ouma to try and use the new tablet as I have set it up on her wifi with a new viber , Skype etc. account so it’s not in conflict with her computer as Oupa wants to use the external mouse , long story but let’s just say the mouse drama was getting out of hand also , lol

I guess you muppets must have had Eid starting 2 days ago as Dubai started last night and Pakistan and South Africa today , so Eid Mubarak to all our friends from all over the world that are celebrating the holidays , I hope it is a blessed and peaceful time for you all and your families.

Well Champs , it’s feels like I am rambling as I do 🙂 so it might be time for bed as tomorrow morning it’s me and the Iron Lady as my last batch of shirts have come back a disaster , no starch on the collars and the cuff-ling shirts were not folded and just pressed flat …not good , so have to go corner her early as they all need redoing before I can pack.

So as each and every night muppets I shall see you both shortly under our big old green tree in dreamland ….packing you both some nice properly pressed and starched big bear dream cuddles 🙂

Night , night Little Men ….happy dreams of a endless supply of white shirts done properly as they should be ….lol

Love you both lots and lots and miss you both much bigger lots more ….

Love you Little Men …..always ….

Dad xx