Back from a workshop in Leicester this weekend where we met another group of parents suffering the pain of alienation and forced separation from their beloved children.  Once again, far from it being a wholly miserable and gloomy day, we laughed as we discussed the different difficulties faced in the alienation process.  Laughed because sometimes the recounting of the actions of the alienated child and alienating parent sound so ludicrous when they are shared out loud. Though facing those action is painful indeed, sharing them with others who recognise them allows relief to flood through and laughter to come.  In a world where loneliness and isolation are feelings that arrive on the day that your child rejects you, finding others who understand can be a life saver.  For some in the room it was the first time they had laughed about what was happening.  For everyone faced with alienation, laughter…

Sociopaths are like those automated systems we all have to deal with. Be it calling the bank, cell phone provider, a store of any kind, your doctor’s office and so on. You know what I’m talking about. Here is how the Sociopath is no different than an automated system. The Sociopath response will be in italics. 

Why did you just lie about that? please press one for English. 

Why can you not answer that question truthfully? I need to transfer you to a different department…… 

How can you be so cold and cruel? i’m sorry i need to close that account…..

how do you justify abusing me? i’m sorry, your account is over-drawn…..

 why can’t you take accountability that you are causing these problems? to return to the main menu, press one…….

has anything i said or did register with you?i‘m sorry, can you…

A common question as it relates to a toxic relationship is whether the narcissist feels any guilt or remorse for what they’ve done to their partner (a.k.a. source of supply).

The short answer is no.

In order to feel guilt, one needs to have a conscience.  Because narcissists have no conscience, there are no limits to the destruction they can cause in the lives of their victims…all without an inkling of remorse.

Victims struggle with this because, as conscientious people, they believe there must be some understandable reason why narcissists act the way they do.  They cannot grasp that there are people who are simply cunning and devious, and thus justify the narcissist’s hurtful actions by being all too willing to give them the benefit of the doubt.

Victims imagine how they would feel if they were mean and nasty to the narcissist, and further imagine the remorse, guilt…

photo credit: dreamstime.com

No relationship is perfect.  Conflict is a natural part of any relationship, whether romantic or otherwise.  Even the best of lovers will have moments of misunderstanding, frustration, and confusion.  However, with open communication – which is vital in a healthy relationship – most conflict can be remedied through mutual respect, support, and compromise.

In a healthy relationship, each partner usually feels comfortable sharing their feelings, wishes, and disappointments.  While there are different levels of emotional maturity, if your partner attempts to consider your point-of-view and makes sincere efforts to make compromises, your relationship is probably healthy.

Passive-Aggressive Does Not a Narcissist Make

An important thing to keep in mind is that although a person may exhibit passive-aggressive behaviors, it doesn’t automatically make them a Narcissist.  Though passive-aggressive people aren’t bad at their core, it’s a learned behavior that often leads to the destruction of important relationships if…

It was November, it was very cold and grey.  The hedgerows were still and bare and the birds were huddled in the ditches trying to keep warm.  Dandlebear watched out of the window, he could see that the coldest time of year was coming.

‘Stop doing that’ said a cross voice behind him and he turned to see Emily jumping up and down on the sofa. Thomas, a little boy who was just a little bit taller than Dandlebear when he stood up straight, looked cross and squabbly.  Dandlebear smiled across at him, ‘stop it now Emily’ he said and Emily flopped down looking glum. Dandlebear turned and looked out of the window again, it was going to be a difficult few weeks before Christmas, he could see that for certain.

Emily and Thomas were at their daddy’s house where they always were on a Saturday morning.  Emily and Thomas…