Self-Forgiveness after Narcissistic Abuse

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thenextlesson

When you’ve been devalued and discarded by a Narcissist, it’s a lot like being told you have a deadly disease.  You’re not sure if you will survive.  In fact, part of you may not want to survive because you’re in such emotional agony.  One more day in the aftermath of Narcissistic abuse seems beyond what you can bear.

Describing this fallout to friends and family often leads to additional shame.  They cannot empathize with you because they can’t possibly relate to the stories you tell them regarding your relationship.  Phrases like “he was a jerk anyway”, “just get over it”, and “you’re better off without her” are well-meaning, but do nothing to ease your suffering.

Involvement with a Narcissist is comparable to ingesting small amounts of arsenic over time.  It starts out seemingly harmless, but gradually leads to defects in cognitive functioning, high blood pressure, headaches, and stomach upset.  In…

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Daily update for my Boys 11 July 2014

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Good evening Little Men!

Wahoooo , the weekend is here ! I hope you both are oki doki and safe ….

As I am sure you both have seen now all of a sudden Lancashire Council is also actioning the data protection request …sure it will also make for some interesting reading ones we get the response , I have also paid Chester the whole 10 quid as this seems to have been what they were the most concerned about , lol 🙂

I had a lovely morning catching up with M , did lots of chatting and networking and to be honest drank way , way to many coffee’s.

I am all set to meet Michelle and her little one also tomorrow ,I only realised today when chatting with her that she was not even aware that Jayne and I had separated and the mess you both have been tied up in for the past 15 months , I think she was a bit shocked to be honest but hey I guess it shows that over and above this blog and stuff I do not run around and tell people what is going on in my life unlike Jayne and Steve.

When I got back I had to scan and send all the data protection documents off and then spent most of the rest of the afternoon on the phone with work , I think my roaming bill is not going to be pretty this month , lol , least I have always been phone user of the month in our company so I have a reputation to uphold , not working full time anymore does not mean you should loose your labels work knows you for 🙂

Sunday I have some Skype conference calls and then maybe I will go meet the Jenkings 5 for a bite at the Ocean basket if they are going , they normally do ….

I am feeling a little better tonight , but boy o boy my chest was bad when I woke up , I almost cancelled my meeting , not sure what is going on but it seems to get better once I have been up and about for a couple of hours , but I do think I am getting a touch of man flu now also , so some chicken soup might have to be made for next week.

Next week is admin and reports week again also so guess I will be glued to my chair and desk most of the time , I might have to go to Cape Town again but will be just a day trip like this week I hope.

I hope you muppets are ready for a fun weekend , have plenty of little man plans up your sleeves , and lots of giggles.

Don’t know what’s cooking but your twitter page is going mad as I am typing , it keeps popping up notices on the screen of the iPad , will take a look in a minute.

Well Champs I shall see you both shortly I think under our big old green tree in dreamland , need some more wam bear dream cuddles please as it is still pretty cold here tonight !

Night , night Muppets ….sweet dreams …. Some wise words on the pic below ;

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Love you both mega super trucks and trailers full and miss you the factories they are made in full and more …..

Love you Champs …always ..

Dad xx

Positive response from Cheshire Data protection also :-)

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Thank you.

You too.

Dan Howarth
Solutions Officer (SAR)
Cheshire West and Chester Council
Tel: 01244 9(77005)
Email: dan.howarth@cheshirewestandchester.gov.uk
Location: Floor 2, HQ Building, 58 Nicholas Street, Chester, CH1 2NP
Visit: cheshirewestandchester.gov.uk

From: phillferreira@hotmail.com [mailto:phillferreira@hotmail.com]
Sent: 11 July 2014 15:16
To: DPA WEST
Subject: Re: Data Protection Request Oliver and Oscar Ferreira – Urgent !

Thanks Dan !

Have a nice weekend !
Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom – let your email find you!
From: DPA WEST
Date: Fri, 11 Jul 2014
To: ‘Phill Ferreira’
Subject: RE: Data Protection Request Oliver and Oscar Ferreira – Urgent !

Thank you for all of the documentation and the payment. I will confirm with finance that we have received the payment and will then issue you with an acknowledgement letter that will state the 40 day deadline by which the Council will provide the information.

As far as you correspondence with Lancaster is concerned, as it stands I do not know of any reason to correspond with them but thanks for making me aware of their contact details should I need to.

Thanks for your cooperation and I will be in touch shortly.

Kind Regards,

Dan Howarth
Solutions Officer (SAR)
Cheshire West and Chester Council
Tel: 01244 9(77005)
Email: dan.howarth@cheshirewestandchester.gov.uk
Location: Floor 2, HQ Building, 58 Nicholas Street, Chester, CH1 2NP
Visit: cheshirewestandchester.gov.uk

From: Phill Ferreira [mailto:phillferreira@hotmail.com]
Sent: 11 July 2014
To: DPA WEST
Subject: FW: Data Protection Request Oliver and Oscar Ferreira – Urgent !

Hi Dan,

I have done the same request for Lancaster also should you which to coordinate with them also , I will pay their fee also if they respond.

Kind Regards,

Phill Ferreira

From: phillferreira@hotmail.com
To: dataprotection@lancashire.gov.uk
Subject: FW: Data Protection Request Oliver and Oscar Ferreira – Urgent !
Date: Fri, 11 Jul 2014

Dear Sirs,

Please can you provide me your bank details for the Data Protection request for information held by you for me and my twin Boys Oliver and Oscar Ferreira

Please see email and attachments below for the request to Chester

Kind Regards,

Phill Ferreira

From: phillferreira@hotmail.com
To: dpawest@cheshirewestandchester.gov.uk
Subject: RE: Data Protection Request Oliver and Oscar Ferreira – Urgent !
Date: Fri, 11 Jul 2014

Hi Dan,

Please find attached all requested information, I will make the payment know and send you proof of that also.

Please could you be kind enough to confirm you now have what you require to proceed with this long overdue request.

Kind Regards,

Phill Ferreira

> From: DPAWest@cheshirewestandchester.gov.uk
> To: phillferreira@hotmail.com
> Date: Fri, 11 Jul 2014
> Subject: RE: Data Protection Request Oliver and Oscar Ferreira – Urgent !
>
> Mr Ferreira,
>
> Please use the reference Data Protection – that way we will be able to identify your specific funds.
>
> Upon receiving the documents from you I will process the documents you are entitled to and then contact you to arrange a safe, secure and prompt delivery of the data to you in a convenient way.
>
> Kind Regards,
>
> Dan Howarth
> Solutions Officer (SAR)
> Cheshire West and Chester Council
> Tel: 01244 9(77005)
> Email: dan.howarth@cheshirewestandchester.gov.uk
> Location: Floor 2, HQ Building, 58 Nicholas Street, Chester, CH1 2NP
> Visit: cheshirewestandchester.gov.uk
>
>
>
> —–Original Message—–
> From: phillferreira@hotmail.com [mailto:phillferreira@hotmail.com]
> Sent: 11 July 2014
> To: DPA WEST
> Subject: Re: Data Protection Request Oliver and Oscar Ferreira – Urgent !
>
> Hi Dan,
>
> Thank you for your email.
>
> I will arrange the payment , what reference do I use on the payment ?
>
> I will send you a copy of my passport and the last Court order that shows my address but in South Africa you need to post to my PO box as we do not get street post delivery ,
>
> I will also send you copies of the boys birth certificates.
>
> Thank you for getting back to me.
>
> Kind Regards
>
> Phill Ferreira
>
>
> —–Original Message—–
> From: DPA WEST
> Date: Fri, 11 Jul 2014 12:12:11
> To: ‘Phill Ferreira’
> Subject: RE: Data Protection Request Oliver and Oscar Ferreira – Urgent !
>
> Dear Mr Ferreira,
>
> Thank you for your email and I apologise for the length of time it has taken to reply to your email. Your request raises a number of logistical issues that need to be addressed, I have taken the appropriate advice in terms of responding to you, hence the delay.
>
> In order for your request to become valid and live in terms of Data Protection legislation, can you please send me the following documents.
>
> We need proof of your identity be this a scanned version of your passport or driving licence etc. We will need proof of a valid address that we can send the information to. This is important as we need to be certain, especially when sending the information abroad, that it is going to the correct person at the correct address. We have a number of options in terms of providing you with the information but we do need to be sure that it will reach you securely.
>
> We will also require a ten pound payment. This can be made online to the following bank account.
>
> Lloyds Bank
> Sort Code: 30-91-92
> Account Number: 02895329
>
> Please can you also provide proof that you have parental responsibility for the two children in the form of a birth certificate or other such legal document.
>
> I look forward to your response.
>
> Kind Regards,
>
> Dan Howarth
> Solutions Officer (SAR)
> Cheshire West and Chester Council
>
>
> —–Original Message—–
> From: Phill Ferreira [mailto:phillferreira@hotmail.com]
> Sent: 10 July 2014
> To: DPA WEST; CHILD REFERRAL & DUTY WEST; news@dailymail.co.uk
> Cc: Peter – Cafcass Morey; Andie Brown; Family Lancaster County; PrestonSFCListing; anthony.douglas@cafcass.gsi.gov.uk; christine.banim@cafcass.gsi.gov.uk; Colette – Cafcass Jacobs; western.ppu@cheshire.pnn.police.uk
> Subject: Re: Data Protection Request Oliver and Oscar Ferreira – Urgent !
>
> Hi Claire,
>
> Further to my email yesterday and phone call and call again today , still zero response from Dan , why would that be ? What is he trying to cover up ?
>
> Kind Regards,
>
> Phill Ferreira
>
> Sent from my iPad
>
> > On 9 Jul 2014, at 16:49, “DPA WEST” wrote:
> >
> > Dear Mr Ferreira
> >
> > Please see attached letter and form for your Data Protection request.
> >
> > If you have any questions please feel free to contact us.
> >
> > Kind Regards,
> > Claire.
> >
> > Data Protection Team
> > Cheshire West and Chester Council
> > Tel: 01244 9 73243
> > Email: DPAWest@cheshirewestandchester.gov.uk
> > Location: 2nd Floor, Solutions Team, HQ, 58 Nicholas Street, Chester, CH1 2NP
> > Visit: http://www.cheshirewestandchester.gov.uk
> >
> >
> > —–Original Message—–
> > From: Phill Ferreira [mailto:phillferreira@hotmail.com]
> > Sent: 09 July 2014
> > To: CHILD REFERRAL & DUTY WEST
> > Cc: Family Lancaster County; PrestonSFCListing; Peter – Cafcass Morey;
> > Andie Brown; news@dailymail.co.uk;
> > rcj.familyhighcourt@hmcts.gsi.gov.uk; Ann Hurley;
> > beth.clayton@hmcts.gsi.gov.uk; western.ppu@cheshire.pnn.police.uk
> > Subject: Freedom of information request re Oliver and Oscar Ferreira –
> > Formal to Social Services
> >
> > Dear Sirs,
> >
> > I have requested at various times over the past year for you to release the information regarding my twin boys I have spoken to you services manager Joe 2 months ago who assured me she will send me a letter which she had never done.
> >
> > I hereby serve you formal 20 days notice as per government rules to provide the for FOI details held by you regarding myself and my twin boys.
> >
> > Kind Regards,
> >
> > Phill Ferreira

Positive response from Lancashire Data Protection team :-)

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Access to information under the provisions of the Data Protection Act 1998
Subject access request reference: 833.313

Dear Mr Ferreira,

Thank you for your email below along with the attachments. I can confirm that Lancashire County Council does not charge for this service so you will not require our account details. We are now in the process of locating Oliver and Oscar’s file(s), and as soon as it has been copied and prepared for you to see we shall contact you again

Please be aware that you are only entitled to see information about yourself and your children. Any information about other individuals will be removed from your records, where necessary, to comply with the Act and protect the privacy of third parties. Unless you advise us otherwise, all information will be sent on a password protected CD in order to maintain security and the integrity of your personal data.

Should you have any queries about the information provided, or require any further assistance please do not hesitate to contact me.

Yours sincerely,

Vicky Austin

Access to Information Team
Lancashire County Council
http://www.lancashire.gov.uk