BENEFITS OF PARENTAL ALIENATION:
1.) The alienator is in control of everyone’s lives and is very happy.

DISADVANTAGES OF PARENTAL ALIENATION:
1.) The children are unable to be in their other parents life and family.
2.) The children can not lead a normal life because their other parent isn’t allowed in their life.
3.) The children only hear negative things about their other parent.
4.) The children are not allowed to have friends that associate with the other parent.
5.) All the children hear is a repeat of what the other parent did and how bad the other parent is.
6.) Causes the children to have nightmares.
7.) Makes the children feel that they have to be careful what they may say because the alienator gets upset easily.
8.) The children are always asked, “has your mother texted you today?” “Have you spoken to your father?”
9.) The children are told something like, “I get an itemized bill and can see if you called you mother/father.” “I can get all of your messages to see if you’ve been texting your mother/father.”
10.) Out of anger the alienator will say to the child, ” you’re just like you mother/father!”
11.) If the child is afraid because of a mistake they’ve made, they know the other parent will help them, but know the consequences if they come in contact with their other parent.
12.) If the child makes a mistake, the alienator will yell at the child and cause emotional damage.
13.) The child/children are always used to hurt their other parent.
14.) The child/children are told it’s ok to disrespect their other parent.
15.) The alienator will “actually” live a life they have claimed,to their children, their other parent lives.
16.) The alienator tells lie upon lie about the other parent to the child/children. For example: “the reason we have no money is because of your mother/father!” “Your father never helps me out with money! I have to do it all!” “Your mother doesn’t pay child support like the court ordered her to do!”
17.) The child/children miss out on the gifts, clothes, etc. the other parent thrives on giving or buying for their child/children.
18.) The children are different from their friends because their friends have both parents in their lives whether divorced or not. Parental alienation is abnormal.
19.) The child/children run from their other parent because they have been told their other parent will embarrass them or hurt them, etc.
20.) The child’s/children’s other family members are also alienated from the child/children.
21.) The child/children live everyday thinking their other parent doesn’t love the and never did.

Take Action – Be Powerful Against PAS Against Child Parental Alienation Abuse

The perpetrating parent’s strategy will be to totally isolate you from the children by gradually breaking every line of contact you might have with them. Your strategy has to be the opposite, and to create every possible line of contact with your children and anyone connected with them.

There are no rules as everyone’s case is unique, but there are many common sense actions I take.

Avoid setting the record straight with children

Never get in a battle with your children about what “really” happened.
Accusing your children of lying only drives them further away.

Never bad-mouth (take the high road)Bad-mouthing the target parent becomes the family pastime, uniting them with a common enemy. Doing this to regain territory with your children further abuses them and could have opposite of the desired effect.

Consider quality one-on-one time
Divide and conquer. It is easier for a child to act hateful toward a parent when his siblings are doing the same. Try to spend individual time with each child.

Practice overlooking rude behavior
Don’t lose your temper. Alienated children can be rude, obnoxious, hateful and abusive. They express and provoke great hostility. No one would blame the victimized parent of mistreatment for responding in kind. But it just makes things worse.

Practice unconditional love
Don’t reject your children. This breaks contact with your children, which is so crucial to resisting and reversing alienation. It stings the children who, despite their overt belligerence, continue to need your love and acceptance. They are not getting unconditional love from their perpetrating parent, they need it from you. Rejecting your children sets you up to be seen by the children, and possibly by the court, as the bad guy who caused the alienation.

If you can’t say something nice, then…
Don’t bad-mouth your ex. You will accomplish nothing by bad-mouthing except to give your children a genuine reason to feel uncomfortable around you.

Its hidden love
Your children still love you, but for a time, they are not allowed to openly love you. Be patient and consistent in showing your love, even if you are rejected.

They need you there
Fight the temptation to fade away. It is painful to attend recitals and games where you are rejected by your children, and possibly mistreated by misinformed adults, but you must keep going for the sake of your children. When your children discover the pain their parent has caused them, they will need you more than ever.

A good read…

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Love you little men always … Xx

How sad that little ones have to create fake accounts to make contact with their Dad as mum will not allow them to make contact during the week!