This girl is allowed to look after you but she is a potty mouth like her father , Aunt and Grandfather , her own parents can’t even control or discipline her but your surrogate allows her to care for you alone.??

Under age drinking is Illegal in the UK but the MCClure family allows and supports this in their own alcoholic life style

der

Hello Little Men ,

Champs as you know I have been writing to you both each night since 20 April 2013 , until 6 Dec those letter have gone to your private email accounts I created for you , why did I start writing that night ? Not sure to be honest if memory serves me right I got home at around 8 pm for work , the house empty but all your stuff was still in your playroom neatly packed away as it was each night after you both had gone to bed , i remember standing in the door of the playroom thinking you must be in bed already and I think at that moment it hit me that you were not upstairs in your beds and that you would never be again , I remember sitting on the floor in the playroom pushing the trains on the big table train set you both loved so much not thinking , it was as if the world had stopped for I don’t know it could have been minutes or hours , not sure , I then remember getting up thinking I need to go check on you , as I walked up the stairs the house was dark , the fish night light off and not a sound , I recall standing at the baby gate at your door and my arm would not work to turn on the light as if I was scared I might wake you , I walked to my room across the hall and sat down on the bed in the dark , I recall thinking to myself ‘ they are gone’

Not sure how long I sat there in the dark before I went down to fetch my computer as I needed , wanted , had to talk to you both , the only way I could think of doing that was to start writing , thus I created the email accounts and moved back to your room , turned the light on , I still see the room as it stood , as if the cleaner had just been in and you both were playing in the playroom , beds made , pillows in place , bears displayed , books and things all in there place , I turned the fish light on and started writing to you both , I recall the flood of tears being so heavy I had to stop a couple of times to wipe my face , since that night I sat on the floor in that nursery each night and wrote to you both , I have not read any of those emails since but they were about so many things , what it’s , what if not’s , maybes , maybe not and much more …..

I guess for me from that night it was my way of being able to spend a couple of minutes each day with you , but I think I have come to realise that 16 months later it did not help me , you will most properly never get to read it or be able to understand it , and I think now it just causes me hurt and nightmares each day having to relive this ordeal , so I hope you both will understand but it’s time for me to take a break , how long you might ask ? I don’t know , maybe permanent , maybe a couple of weeks I guess time will tell….

I wanted to post this picture below for you both , please always remember this ;

Just always know no matter what I love you with all my heart and sole …always , and will always be under our big old green tree in dreamland if you want to stop in for a cuddle and to say hello 🙂

So my Little O’s I will see you when I see you if I see you ……..

Love you both more than I can ever try and describe in words and miss you so much more …..stay safe , be happy life is for living , having fun and plenty of giggles always ….

Dad xx