Easing the Sting of “Rejection”

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Rejection.small_ – photo by Patty Scheeler

I get emails every day from people who are stuck in an obsessive cycle of feeling worthless, unattractive, and “no good”.  This happens because their Ex-Narc conditioned them to believe these things and then left them for another partner, which only enforced this false illusion.

Being rejected or abandoned by someone we love is already painful enough, but when it happens at the hands of a Narcissist, it’s felt much more deeply.  The difference is that in a normal relationship, one partner may decide to leave because they’ve met someone else (which was never planned), they’ve decided they want a different lifestyle, they want to discover themselves, etc.  On the other hand, a Narcissist conditions their partners to believe they’re nothing – often mere days after establishing a relationship.

Conditioning

It doesn’t always come off as character assassination in the beginning.  To seem credible, the…

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Daily update for my Boys 23 March 2014

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Good evening Little men….

Hope you two have had a great Sunday……

Tomorrow is the start of yet one more week without me knowing if you both are ok ….. It’s going to be 1 year next week …..since we have been allowed to spend normal happy times together…..

Sorry I am a little late today but am not feeling great still if I am honest….really thought by now I would be as back to normal as I can be , but no such luck it seems ….

Just want to wish you both a great week and I really hope you are doing ok Olibear after the operation …..big huge little man….

Miss and love you both lots …can’t wait to see you both tonight under our big old green tree in dream land , I think I need extra little O cuddles and smiles tonight ……

Night , night champs ….dream big and fun….

Love you both lots and lots and miss you lots more

Love you little men…..always

Dad xx.

Rough justice’ for divorced dads on benefits

New Fathers 4 Justice's avatarNew Fathers 4 Justice - Superhero Dads

Fathers claiming welfare are left on breadline to pay maintenance, study finds

IPADdivorce

DEARBHAIL MCDONALD AND KATHERINE DONNELLY – PUBLISHED 18 MARCH 2014 02:30 AM

JUDGES frequently make child maintenance orders against men on state benefits whose marriages have broken down – leaving many living below national insolvency guidelines.

The first major survey of Ireland’s Circuit Courts, where 98pc of judicial separation and divorce cases are heard, also reveals that the “standard access” for married dads to their children after separation is “a couple of hours” every second week – with a few hours once or twice during the week.

The four-year study, approved by the Department of Justice and funded by the Irish Research Council (IRC), has exposed a series of injustices in Ireland’s overburdened family law system, with judges – interviewed for the first time – requesting training to deal with young children, parental conflict and help for huge caseloads that…

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Fathers rights movement letter …worth a read …

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Dear fathers rights movement and the lady that wrote this. I must thank you so so so very much I sent it to two different local newspapers and they are publishing it I believe this week probably on Sunday which is the largest news paper all week the ones who buy it every Sunday as well.

Thank you mam for being such an amazing writer. I gave the guy her name but I don’t think they use names.
It will be in the Birmingham news paper.

Dear Editor

The Best Interest of the Child?

In the 1980’s laws were put into place nationwide to protect women and children from abusive relationships. However, now the laws that once were instituted for the purpose of protecting women and children from abuse have morphed into a giant loophole to allow fraud and gross abuse of power.

These laws made no provisions for men or fathers who have been victimized by domestic violence. Domestic violence against men has been largely ignored and has radically increased. Case in point, the murder of Travis Alexander by his ex-girlfriend, Jodi Arias. This “loophole” has allowed vindictive women to use protective orders as a means to falsely report their child/ren’s fathers accusing them of some form of domestic violence and/or falsely report allegations of sexual abuse.

Everyday there are good fathers who work hard and sacrifice for their children, yet they are experiencing one of the most tragic and heartbreaking injustices of our time. The mother’s hatred for the child’s father is far more powerful than the love for their children. This hatred is spiraling out of control in our family courts and thousands of men in our state and hundreds of thousands nationwide are being brought up against false allegations of abuse and losing their children. Family courts are overburdened and women are hell-bent on making sure the fathers of their children never have a relationship with their kids. This in itself is child abuse of the most tragic form.

Even more tragically, the court system is helping this to happen and soon we will be a nation of fatherless children.

Closing off avenues of love and support available to a child from their father and his family is cruel and selfish.

By manipulating the child into putting up barriers and using the child as a pawn in their selfish game of revenge violates the child’s trust in a most cruel manner.

Plain and simple, these mothers alienate and kidnaps the child and steals the child’s soul.

Therefore, she and those around her are committing child cruelty and abuse.

The bottom line is, one parent has no reason they can justify by ending a child’s contact with the other parent. The obvious intention to drive a wedge between the child and the other parent in hopes the child will continue to find fault and begin to hate the other parent exacerbates emotional abuse and there are catastrophic long-term ill effects that will likely afflict the child.
So tell me please, who defines just what really is in the best interest of the children?

Child Protective Services who have failed hundreds of thousands of children nationwide by separating them from fathers who wanted nothing more than to be fathers and share parental rights? Family court judges?

The lawyers who’s hands are tied by antiquated laws that do not protect fathers/men?

Women who can file bogus domestic violence orders one after the other for years and ruin a man emotionally and financially (and their lawyers know this yet they continue to humor them because “that is their right.”)?

Please tell me, who really has the best interest of the children in mind?

Daily update for my Boys 22 March 2014

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Good afternoon Little Men…

How are my champs doing this fine Saturday afternoon ? I hope well…

Olibear I hope you are feeling better and that you are back to your playful self now , sure Oscbear must have missed his little play mate lots ….

I have only been up for a hour or so , really not feeling great ….but I guess such is life ….hope I will be back on my feet tomorrow again……

It’s seems to have been a nice day here today of what I can see now , cool and Sunny , the birds have been driving me a little crazy …the joys of living in Africa with a huge garden…..think I need to get a puppy also that can bark at them when they cause mayhem in the tree outside my window …lol

I hope you two muppets are having lots of fun and happy play times this weekend ……can’t believe your 3rd Birthday is two months away …..feels like yesterday I was allowed to see you for a couple of hours on your second Birthday but it will seem that I will not be allowed this luxury again this year as your paid surrogate does not want me , Ouma or Oupa to see or even wish you happy birthday …nice person she is …but at least I know you both will see her for what she is very soon ,a drunk with major mental delusions , just so sorry that you both have to be brought up in that environment….and that you have to continue to suffer daily abuse at her and her families hands

So little men I wish you both a great Sunday , lots of smiles and giggles I hope

I will see you both later tonight under our big old green tree in dream land ..can’t wait for my double little O dream cuddles and smiles …

Night , night little men …..happy safe dreams of much better days

Love you both around the world and back and miss you both so much more ….

Love you little men…….always

Dad xx.