4 thoughts on “Am trying to get you a copy of this book on Amazon little men xx”

  1. Dear Phill,
    I have been following your blog whilst travelling as my many hours of waiting in airport lounges provides me with ample time to follow up on many of your posts .
    I find your story interesting yet so sad . Sad both for yourself but also for how you may be potentially ruining any hope of a relationship with your sons.
    I think my situation bears some resemblances to your own , although in many ways so very different.
    Firstly , I am a gay man. I am not sure given the strong feelings that you describe as mysogeny against your ex wife how you feel about gay men , I would hazard a guess that perhaps you may find my lifestyle difficult to understand. However, whilst my sexuality has a bearing upon my story, it is not critical.

    My story is this :
    My partner Hugo and I have been in a stable and loving relationship for 10 years . We underwent a civil partnership in 2008 and the only thing that remained to complete us was to have a child . We looked at many options and had much soul searching until one of my oldest female friends offered to become a surrogate and would bear a child for us .
    We decided against a formal route as my friend was to give the child to us without the involvement of social services in an informal agreement. One evening Hugo and I and I placed both of our sperm into a syringe and the insemination was completed.

    9 months later Eli was born , perfect and beautiful , we saw him at the hospital. There was one problem, she refused to give him to us and worse still has refused to put my name or Hugo’s on the birth certificate.
    She has refused to let us see Eli telling others that we are not the father/s and because of the informal agreement we cannot go for a paternity test and prove otherwise.
    We are at our wits end as he looks like me . We do get photographs every couple of months and we voluntarily pay his mother every month so that our son can live the lifestyle he would otherwise be unable to have. We both have good jobs and we pay a large portion of our wages to support him.
    I hope that one day he will want to contact us, but we made the decision not to fight or argue with his mother as we do not want him to pick up on negative feelings or to hear negative things about us. I fear that your antagonistic fight will have the opposite effect to that which you wish .
    Maybe we have made the wrong choice , but we at least know that he is happy, cared for and wants for nothing – what more could we ask for as parents . Parenting is often one way traffic , maybe one day our son will reciprocate .

    Regards Jay

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    • Good morning Jay,

      Firstly ,thank you very much for taking the time to read our boys blog , comment and share your story and thoughts….

      I have no issue with you being , gay , my brother was also, and many of my friends even today are , my believe on this is you fall in love with a person , I think growing up with my brother taught me respect for this and also in the same light for different religions and cultures. Most people don’t get my mindset on this …..

      Your story saddens me as I have heard this so many times before, my issue with the mums in a case like yours is not allowing your little man to know his daddy or extended family’s , how can that be good? Or justified?

      As I have said on here before people have different thoughts on this, I think what makes mine and your stories a little different is that I was part of our little mens lives for 19 months daily , then because I was not willing to take abuse from their mum she now feels 8’hours a year is the basis of a good normal relationship….. I also have serious concerns for our boys knowing my ex and her family thus the fight.

      Also note a lot of the articles I post is in general terms to create awareness and understanding of what Dads are dealing with, I have no hate towards the mother , more disappointment in how she chose to handle things since April last year when I walked out , but this was her choice to decide to use our boys for blackmail and personal gain.

      I have been called every name under sun , accused of everything , the list is still growing I am sure as I write this but at the end of the day all I am is a Dad with a broken heart that would very much like to spend normal time with our boys and be part of their lives and for that I will fight always….

      Safe travels , take care …..

      Phill Ferreira

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  2. Phill and the Boys:
    “Our believe at the beginning of a doubtful undertaking is the one thing that insures the
    successful outcome of our venture. We must have perseverance and above all confidence
    in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something…”.In this case trying to be a good
    father for you two. This is Ouma and Oupas prayer each and everyday for the three of you.
    Take care dear ones xxx

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