2 thoughts on “I will have to translate this for you little men as I guess you will never be ‘allowed’ to learn speak or read Afrikaans……”

1. Dear Phill,
   I have been quiet for a few days as things seem to have settled a little . I was interested to read though that you made no reference to your intended visit to see your boys at school this weekas previously mentioned – I was hoping to hear how this went – but also relieved that you didn’t as it sounded like this is something that has not been permitted to you and I fear would be counter- productive.
   I note you are considering being a ‘stay at home dad ‘ – isn’t this the very situation you are chastising their mother for – unless of course you have sufficient funds and no intention of claiming state benefits , this seems contradictory to me . I am also blessed with being a parent and know how expensive caring for a child can be ! If you are trying to set an example of a strong work ethic in your boys – personally I would advise against becoming a stay at home parent if this is not something that is essential.
   I also read in your comments to yesterday’s blog and in a previous response to myself that you are happy to share what I would deem confidential information and whilst I understand your desire to inform others – I really do not think this is appropriate as I imagine it is not intended for public viewing which is why I would not wish to see it .
   Lastly , I see you continue to refer to the boys’ mother as a ‘care -giver’ – your reluctance to use the name ‘mother ‘ throws up a few concerns for me :
   The role of mother is complex – indeed part of the role would be expected to be that of one who gives care … Sadly this week I have met a 15 year old young lady who abandoned her 4 month old baby and does not wish for any contact let alone give any aspect if the child’s care – this makes her no less the child’s mother – I cannot see why therefore you do not use the term ‘mother ‘ and makes me question if indeed this is more about you and that you question your own role as ‘father ‘ particularly when for whatever reason you are an absent father and unable to give ‘care’. I ask therefore if you can define the word ‘father’ and how an absent father can continue in this role ?
   Food for thought ,

   Yours Emma

   LikeLike

   Reply

   • Hi Emma,

     Hope you are well, nice hearing from you again,

     If you knew the details of this story you would have not asked the question you just did re my choice to not use the term ‘mother’ ,

     You seem to think I am absent out of choice , you seem to forget that the care giver ensured that I could not remain in the UK as she was my sponsor , it seems you have not read the blog from the start !

     You seem to forget that while I was in the UK I tried and fought each day to see our boys but yet the care giver and her brother decided to try and blackmail me for money , she got over 800 pound a month from the CSA if I could stay in the UK , she decided the 1200 she gets from the state for keeping our boys hostage will give them a great life ! Drove a ML , she could not afforded the diesel on but refused to return it and till I got a bailiff to take it of her as her image is more important then our boys

     Emma I am sorry but no “mother” keeps children from the other parent for no reason and then tell me that is right !

     Am I father of the year ? Maybe not as I am not even allowed to send our boys a card or speak to them on the phone !

     I am not prevented from seeing our boys at school, so I need to correct you , the care giver refused to inform me where she had placed our boys in school , took a private investigator one day to provide me the info , it’s like her home address , she is so thick , that she transferred the tv licence from my house linked to my email and credit card to her new house , but then tells the court I am not allowed to know where she is keeping our boys hostage , you can see she left school at 16 , not the sharpest tool in the shed ,

     As the UK courts seem to support stay at home parents thus my choice to go the same route, as the care giver is refusing to divorce me as she needs to pay me out for her house I paid for 5 years plus her 53k in credit card debt plus plus , I will be ok with money , but thank you for your concern.

     At this stage I think the term care giver is kind , hired help by the state I think is more appropriate.

     Hope you are having a good weekend !

     Take Care

     Phill

     LikeLike

     Reply